


For Her

by toxdaniel



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: 1st person, Ambiguous Shepard, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 17:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7447558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxdaniel/pseuds/toxdaniel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was different after I died.<br/>Angrier, more prone to violence.</p><p>But I had to be a good person.<br/>For Her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Her

**Author's Note:**

> So this started out as a light headcanon for why my Shepard was more Renegade during Mass Effect 2 than the other games, which was that: "Liara's pretty much 85% of my impulse control."  
> I don't really know how it happened, but somewhere along the line, it turned into... this.  
> I tried to keep Shepard and the choices they made as vague as possible, so people could insert the Shepard they wanted.  
> My first fanfic, so please be gentle.

I was different after I died.  
Angrier, more prone to violence. It started to become natural to me.  
But then the Shadow Broker happened.  
I realised that I had to be a good person, for Her. I had to be the same person I was when She fell in love with me, otherwise She’d stop, right?

Then came the Alpha Relay. I failed. I couldn’t save them. I wasn’t a good person. There was no way She still loved me.  
I was numb when they took me back to earth. 6 months there, wallowing in my guilt.

On Mars, I saw Her again. I had to be the good person again, so She’d stay, so She’d keep loving me.  
And it was working.  
Though I lost so much, She saw how I was trying to be good, and She loved me.

Omega was bad. It was so easy to fall back into the anger, the violence, the feel of Aria’s lips on mine…  
But I had to be good. I had to be. For Her. So She’d keep loving me.

I don’t know how She kept loving me after Thessia. Maybe Her own guilt kept Her from seeing mine? I feel awful that I’m so relieved about that.

(Would the clone have been a better me? Would She have loved… don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it)

I was good at Cerberus headquarters, even though I wanted to stab that bastard over and over and over and over and over

Earth was a trial. I hated the reapers for what they’d done to my home. I took all opportunities to kill them, but that was okay, because that was what the good guys did, right? Kill the monsters? 

I had to send Her away before the beam. I hope She’s still alive. I hope She’d approve of my choice. To end the war.

 

Tell me, Liara.

Was I good?


End file.
